Dear Little One

Jean Blanket Photo Shoot - 2 months

2012-02-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

When we found out we were expecting Blake, I decided to make matching jean quilts for Blake and for both of his birthparents. Jean quilts are a tradition in my family. EVERYONE in the family has their own jean quilt. I thought jean quilts might be a nice keepsake for Blake, Aurianna, and Jake, and a small way for us to show our love for them.

Also, it's a fun way for them to see how big Blake is growing throughout his life, when we can't always be together!

So, Jake and Auri, at two months old, Blake measures 6 squares long (when he stretches out) and about 1 1/2 squares wide!

His eyes are an amazing bright blue - the color of denim.

2 months

2012-01-27T13:00:00.000-08:00

Blake is two months old today! I'm not sure where the time went!

Blake has blessed our lives beyond measure. I feel such an intense bond for this little man, and thank Heavenly Father everyday that he was sent to our family. Blake is a calm and happy personality. Give him a little attention, and he'll reward you with smiles and coos that will melt your heart.

He is also very loving. He likes to snuggle and cuddle, loves kisses, and loves his mama (which makes me about the happiest mama alive!), daddy and sissy.

He has started taking two good naps everyday. He sleeps pretty well at night, though he still likes to eat often. But his reflux is giving him more trouble these days, which makes it hard for him to sleep. We are seeing a specialist in February, so I'm hopeful we can make this a bit better for him soon.He is growing big! He eats great, and loves his bottles. He has those irresistible baby thigh rolls and at least three chins and the most kissable boy cheeks ever. His hair won't stop growing! I am going to get brave this weekend and trim it, I think. :)

Oh, and because we see it so rarely: Blake's serious face.

Oh, how we love this boy.

Happy 2-month birthday, Blake!

Joy in my Job

2012-01-05T15:33:00.000-08:00

I have been so filled with gratitude lately for the blessing it is to be a mom.

I love my job.

And I never want to take it for granted.

It's a hard job, for sure. I am averaging 2 - 5 hours of interrupted sleep a night and trying to learn how to meet the needs of two kids. But I love it so much. The past six weeks I have felt so joyful and grateful, even in the midst of feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. It seems like a contradiction, but it's true. I am exhausted. I am overwhelmed. And yet, somehow I am enjoying every minute of this experience of being a mom of two.

I have had a few mommy moments lately that have made me so happy.

Like when I picked Katelee up from school her first day after Christmas break, and she couldn't run fast enough to give me my hug.

And when Blake gives me his huge happy smiles when I've just fed him and changed him and then sing or talk to him.

And watching Katelee swing-while-standing at the park today (in our 65 degree sunshine).

And when Blake starts fussing and stops the second I pick him up and he nuzzles into me.

And when I see how much my kids love each other, such as when Katelee talks and sings to Blake and he responds with smiles and coos and can cuddle up in her arms for an hour and be so content. He was crying while I was making his bottle yesterday, and Katelee was soothing him. I heard her say, "It's okay, Blake. The spirit is in our house and we are safe and everything is good." I love knowing my kids already have such a strong bond and love each other so much.

And when I took Blake for his one month check-up and the doctor praised him over and over saying what a perfect baby he is and how well cared for and how wonderful he looks.

And when we were traveling on our crazy-long holiday trip, and I read Junie B. Jones books aloud for hours until I was losing my voice.

And when we were driving on that same trip and I was smooshed in the tiny backseat between two carseats and with one hand I was holding Katelee's sleeping head up so she wouldn't keep doing the head-bob thing and with the other hand I was holding Blake's pacifier in his mouth (because he wanted it but couldn't help it from falling out) and stroking his cheek, and my arms ached but my heart was full of joy because this is what a mom does.

Yup. I have no doubt that this is what I am meant to do.
I love being a mom!

One Month

2011-12-27T11:15:00.000-08:00

Dear Little One,

One month ago today you entered the world, and completely captured our hearts forever. We feel so strongly that Heavenly Father meant you to be part of our family. You fit in so completely and so perfectly, and we can hardly imagine life without you.

Happy 1 Month Birthday, Blake!

We love you!

Dad, Mom, & Katelee

Visit from Aurianna & Annalee

2011-12-21T10:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Little One,

Every day, every hour, every second spent with you is filled with love and gratitude! You are a wonderful baby, and I tell you a million times everyday how much we love you and how thankful we are that Heavenly Father sent you to our family. You have quickly become an integral part of our little family, and we can't imagine life without you!

We recently enjoyed a wonderful day with your birth mom, Aurianna, and her mother, Annalee. They came and spent a day with us when you were almost 2 weeks old. I love these women so much; they are just so amazing and have become such true and wonderful friends. Grandma T. was in town, and so she was thrilled to get to meet them as well.

Aurianna, Grandma T., you, and Annalee

We enjoyed visiting, holding you, making hair bows together, and going to lunch at a yummy French cafe.

We dressed you specially for the occasion.

Later that day, daddy got home from his L.O.N.G. week of school! He felt like he hadn't seen you very much that week, so he enjoyed a little snuggle time.

We feel very blessed that you have such sweet birthparents whom we love so much! And we feel exceptionally blessed to have you as our son! We love you forever!

Love,

Mom

To Our Readers

2011-12-03T14:55:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,

Since our Little One is officially here, and because this is a public blog, we will not be posting regular updates and pictures on this blog anymore. If you are a friend or family member, and you don't have permission to read our private family blog, please contact us for an invite. :)

We will continue to post adoption-related things on this blog, such as visits with birthparents, adoption finalization, and the day we are sealed in the temple. After that point, however, we will print the blog as a book for our Little One and delete it from online.

Thank you for reading, and for your support and prayers and interest as we journeyed on this adoption adventure!

Love,

Jennifer

A Miracle

2011-12-01T08:05:00.000-08:00

Dear Little One,

After years of waiting, millions of tears, thousands of disappointed hopes, hundreds of negative pregnancy tests, 5 rounds of fertility drugs, dozens of months of waiting after decided to adopt, 6 weeks of anticipation after being chosen, a lot of faith and patience, and countless wishes and hopes and prayers, we have the ONE perfect answer that makes it all worthwhile.

You are here!

You are wonderful and perfect in every way. You are so, so loved.

Let me tell you a little about your arrival. Saturday night we had been asleep for about an hour or so when we got a phone call. I literally jumped out of bed, because a phone call in the middle of the night could only mean one thing - you were coming! Annalee, your birth grandma, was calling to say they were heading to the hospital. We gathered our things and tidied the house, and prepared to go. About an hour later, they called again to say that Aurianna, your birthmom, had been admitted to the hospital. We woke up Katelee, who was SO EXCITED to hear that you were coming, and dropped her off at our friends house and drove to Fort Collins.

It was 4 a.m. Sunday morning when we arrived at the hospital. We brought snacks and books and settled in for what we expected to be a nice long wait. At 6, I went up to the nurses station to ask how Aurianna was doing and if she had gotten her epidural yet. The nurse smiled and said that actually you had just been BORN! I think my jaw literally dropped! The only thing I could think to say was, "That was FAST!" The nurse kinda laughed at me and agreed, and then another nurse walked up and said they were ready for us to come in. I ran out to get daddy, who was dozing in the lobby, and we hurried into the room.

When we walked in, there was your beautiful birthmom, looking like a rockstar, holding you in her arms. Tears came into my eyes. She handed you to me and I just wanted to look at every bit of you forever. You were absolutely perfect! You weighed 7 lbs. 5 oz. and were 19.5 inches long. You have long, thick black hair and great fingernails. We spent the next two hour or so in the delivery room together: Annalee, Aurianna, Jake (who is your birthdad), Daddy and I, taking turns holding you and loving you. There was a loving and peaceful feeling in the room. You hardly made a sound, but just took in the new world you had come to with your eyes open and thoughtful.

You and Aurianna

You and Jake

You and Grandma Annalee

Mom & Dad and You

After we were transferred to a new area where Aurianna had a room and we had our own room down the hallway. We were glad to be close to where Aurianna and Jake were staying, because we spent a lot of time all together over the next two days. I can't imagine a better hospital experience than what we had. The nurses were amazing - in fact the nurse we had the first day has adopted two children of her own through LDS Family Services! The doctors treated us all with respect and I personally felt that there was no awkwardness or uncomfortableness, because we are all being open with one another and because we love each other. It's true, it feels like in adopting you, Little One, we have adopted another entire amazing family, and we couldn't be more thrilled, because they are AWESOME! :)

Auri and I spent an hour or two chatting the afternoon after the birth and cuddling you, while the guys napped - ha ha ha!
We got to give you your first sponge bath. All five of us crowded into the bathroom, daddy viedotaping like usual. :) The nurse gave us directions and Auri and I worked together and took turns until you were all clean. You complained a tiny bit, but mostly you are just the most peaceful, content, easy-going baby ever. :) LOOK at that head of hair!!

I think you have Jake's hair and ears and Auri's nose. You are simply ADORABLE.

We took a pic of you getting your hearing checked. You passed with flying colors. :)

We had a great time in the hospital. We played Phase 10, talked, had visitors, and mostly just LOVED ON YOU. Someone was holding you almost constantly, and the love in the air was thick.

You have two names, Little One. Not everyone can say that! Aurianna and Jake named you Michael Jared Coy - a good strong name to be proud of. This is the name on your original birth certificate and your legal name until the adoption is finalized. Daddy and I had chosen your name about 10 years ago, however, that we felt strongly about keeping it. It is Blake Thurston Reynolds. Blake is Daddy's middle name and his grandfather's name. Thurston is mommy's maiden name, and is also in honor of your Grandpa Thurston. This is the name we call you at home and will become your legal name when the adoption is finalized.
Late Monday morning, Aunt Bonnie brought Katelee to the hospital to meet you for the first time. It was one of the happiest and sweetest moments of my life. Katelee is utterly, absolutely, 100% in love with you!

We didn't get a good picture of it, but Katelee is wearing a new shirt that says "Big Sister" on it. :)

Going home was a little sad for everyone, and especially for Aurianna and Jake. I, too, didn't want the wonderful experience of the hospital to end. It was all just so sweet and peaceful. But your birthparents are strong and amazing, and we are looking forward to seeing them this weekend. Before they left, they dressed you in the most adorable moose outfit that Annalee and bought for you:

And we tucked you into your car seat for the first time (you look so little!) and all left the hospital together.
We got settled at home that night, and Katelee read you your first bedtime story. I will write more about life at home another time, Little One. Just remember this always: Heavenly Father is a God of miracles. The scripture Mormon 9:19 has never felt more true to me:

And if there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles and yet be an unchangeable Being? And behold, I say unto you he changeth not; if so he would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles.

YOU are our miracle, Little One, and we love you with all our hearts!

We will be forever grateful to Aurianna and Jake for their selfless, loving part in making this miracle possible. We have loved them from the beginning, but this past week has made our feelings for them more profound and deep than we can express.

xoxox,

Mom

Happy Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T06:26:00.000-08:00

Happy Thanksgiving from our family to yours!

Hope your day is full of family, fun, blessings, and delicious food. Oh, and adorable Pilgrims and Indians, too!

Katelee 2012

Katelee 2011

We are so blessed.

Artwork and Love

2011-11-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

Dear Little One,

Your due date is only one short week away. We are ready for you whenever you choose to make your appearance. We've spent a lot of time recently preparing your space, and are feeling satisfied that we are ready (or at least ready enough) for you to come. :)

This past Saturday we were blessed to have the opportunity to spend the day with J - your birthfather, A - your birthmom, and A's mom. They are really amazing, and we had a wonderful time together. Even though we spent most of a day together, the time just flew by.

The week before they came, I was contemplating how to decorate the wall above your crib and came up with an idea that I really loved. Your daddy and sister, Katelee, are very artistic, and your birthparents are also very creative and artistic. I thought it would be meaningful and beautiful if we all created a piece of artwork to hang over your crib. So, while they were visiting here on Saturday we got out the art paper and watercolors and started creating. Today I mounted the paintings and hung them on your wall, and I am SO pleased with the results.

I think this looks so bright and colorful and interesting and lovely. I love how each piece of artwork is so different from the others, and yet they all fit together nicely. This wall represents how very loved you are, by so many people, and how much love and joy and happiness is being sent your way.

This may be my personal favorite. This one was painted by A, your birthmom.

A's mom (I guess she is your birth-grandma :) painted this lovely picture. So sweet.
J. is extraordinary at design and art. Isn't his picture fascinating? He ran out of time, so this painting isn't completely finished yet, but it will be soon.
Katelee painted two small masterpieces.

And daddy put his drawing skills to use in his colorful picture.

Honestly, I had a hard time. I painted several pictures that I didn't like. So, I decided to paint a few simple, smaller ones to fill in the empty spaces, and I am happy with how they turned out. As you can tell, I really like color. :)

Now that these are hung, the finishing touches have been put on the room you and Katelee will be sharing.

Your half of the room includes your crib,
and your little toy corner, which Katelee has been putting to good use. :)On the opposite wall is Katelee's bed,
and her toy corner, as well. :)
We've added a few fun touches to the room, such as these tissue paper fluff balls that I love because they are whimsical and colorful and just ... fun.

and this artwork bulletin board that I made and Katelee has been busy filling up with her art.

I love the lime green and other bright colors that tie your whole room together.

Of course, at first you'll probably spend most of your time in mom and dad's room, in this sweet bassinet our friend lent us.

Today, Little One, I stood in front of your bassinet for a couple minutes and tried to imagine what you might look like and how it might feel when I can finally hold you in my arms. It's hard to imagine; this whole situation still feels very surreal and pretend at times. But I know it will be a glorious moment, and I am so, SO eternally grateful to Heavenly Father for building our family in His inspired way and to your birthparents, for giving us this incredible gift that we have spent years and years praying for.

The next time I write a letter to you here, Little One, I may be posting pictures of your sweet face and holding you in my arms!

Anxiously awaiting your arrival,

Mom

Growing Up

2011-11-14T11:50:00.000-08:00

Dear Little One,

Your big sis growing up so fast, TOO fast!, and the signs of it are everywhere. This weekend I admit to shedding a few sentimental tears over a couple of big milestones she had.

On Friday, she told me she had a loose tooth. Her first! She was so excited and told EVERYONE we came into contact with that day all about it. :)

Saturday she asked daddy to take the training wheels off her bike. 3 minutes later she came in to tell me she could ride a bike. Literally! 3 minutes! She was obviously ready!

Sunday on our way to church Katelee was eating an apple - and that loose tooth came right out! I couldn't resist a little photo shoot today of her new smile - she looks so adorable with that little gap in her teeth! :)

This is such a fun age for Katelee, but I can't help feeling a bit sad that she is getting so grown up!

Good thing you will be here, soon, Little One, so I will have another little baby to cuddle and snuggle soon. You really could come any day now! I can't wait!

With love,

Mom

Gratitude

2011-11-06T05:11:00.000-08:00

Dear Little One,

November is the month to celebrate gratitude. Which is fitting, since it is also the month in which you will probably be born! What could make us feel more grateful than that amazing blessing? I consider myself a grateful person, but lately I have been overwhelmed with gratitude. Let me tell you about a few things I am grateful for.

Your Daddy

I love your daddy so much, Little One. He is amazing. He works and studies hard all day long, then comes home and helps out around the house. He is a loving and dedicated husband, and a wonderful daddy to Katelee. He loves his family so much, and always puts us first in his life. He is a follower of Jesus Christ. And he is so excited to have a little man in the house! I love him, and am grateful for him in my life everyday.

Your Sister

I love your sister. She is funny and smart and artistic and independent and loving and ticklish and has a huge heart. And she is so excited for you to come! We rearranged the house yesterday and put up your crib. It is wonderful to have a tangible symbol of your upcoming arrival! Katelee is being so generous to share her life with you. She is eager to share her room and toys and books. She is excited for you to arrive and become part of her life. She has made a list of things she is going to do to help you grow and learn. :) She is a joy to have as my daughter in every way, and she is undoubtedly going to be the best sister ever.

Your Birthparents

If all goes well, Little One, J. and A. will be your birthparents. Earlier this week we were able to meet with them, A.'s mom, and our case worker to go over the birth plan. We sat in this meeting and I was struck with how everyone in the room was united in a common goal to do what was best for you. We were brought together because we all love you. Words cannot express the gratitude we feel for their decision to give us this priceless gift that we cannot provide for ourselves. They have made decisions that are selfless and wise and based on the fact that they love you so much and want what is best for you. It's true that I haven't known them very long, but I have a deep gratitude and love for J. and A. They are truly amazing.

Trials

I am grateful for the trials in my life, Little One. They have made me who I am and brought me closer to God. Your daddy and I have struggled with infertility off and on now for almost 10 years. It has changed who I am. Sometimes it has been so difficult I felt I couldn't carry the burden for one more day. But through this process I've learned something about the Atonement and Jesus Christ and about how He can and will carry our burdens for us. About a month ago I was struggling with some feelings of sadness and resentment that you couldn't come to our family in the traditional way. These feelings are natural and normal, and they don't mean that I'm not grateful for the miracle of adoption - because I am in every sense of the word! But I think that every adoptive parent has to experience some mourning over missing the whole experience of pregnancy and loss of control. Being chosen by J. and A. is exhilarating and amazing, but it's also terrifying and vulnerable, because the reality is they have the right to change their minds. I was having one of those days when these feelings of fear and sadness were getting me down, and I also happened to be in the middle of making a huge batch of applesauce.
I LOVE applesauce. Homemade applesauce is one of the sweetest, prettiest, most delicious things ever created in my opinion. I like a good apple, sure, but it doesn't compare at all to the perfection of a bowl of flawless applesauce! As I was working on the applesauce and experiencing these feelings and praying for strength, the spirit taught me a little lesson about trials and how they can change our hearts. You see, if our hearts are like an apple, then they may be pretty hard. They might even have some bruises or rotten spots. As we go through life, we experience trials. They can either make our hearts harder or we can do as the scriptures suggest and 'soften' our hearts. When I make applesauce, I chop up the apples, remove the unwanted parts, and throw the apple in a boiling pot of water. Sometimes I have felt like I am existing in a pot of boiling water. It's uncomfortable. It's painful. It's downright miserable. And sometimes things can get even worse before they get better, and I feel like I am being strained and twisted and pounded. But the truth is, I am being purified just like the applesauce. The end result, if we allow it to happen, can be that our hearts have become sweeter, softer, more perfected, just like an apple being turned into applesauce. So, Little One, it is with absolute sincerity that I say I am grateful for my trials. Infertility is only one of the trials I have dealt with, and you will also face trials and difficulties in your life. But don't worry. I will always be there with love and support, and more importantly, your Heavenly Father and your Savior will always be there, too.

YOU

I cannot express, Little One, how much I love you already, how much I have longed for you to come to our family, and how grateful I am to be preparing for you to come. Getting out the crib and baby toys yesterday made my heart sing! I have washed and put some clothes in the closet, and I just love walking by and seeing those itty-bitty outfits hanging there. I am so grateful to have this time to anticipate your arrival. I love you, with all my heart.

With gratitude,

Mommy

Halloween Happenings

2011-11-03T06:11:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

We had the BEST Halloween this year! It was awesome!

It all started on Friday night, actually, when we did some of our family traditions. We invited Kassandra to join us, as she is practically part of the family. :) We made caramel apples to enjoy, listened to Halloween music, and carved our pumpkin. Katelee drew a design for the pumpkin in advance. Here is the pumpkin face she wanted.

Ready to get to work!

Cutting the pumpkin open.

EW! Pumpkin guts!

Cleaning the pumpkin out.

Yummy!

What's in there?Enjoying caramel apples. (While daddy works hard on carving.) :)

The finished product!

We think the pumpkin resembles David from the book No, David.

After pumpkin carving, we drove to watch thjs light show, and the girls really got a kick out of it!

Fun night!

Saturday evening was our church "trunk-or-treat" and chili cook-off. Katelee got to wear her costume officially for the first time, and she looked adorable! Our little pink crayon!

On Halloween, we started the morning with homemade jack-o-lantern pancakes. Yum!

Katelee got to wear her costume to school in the morning. At school, we had a rockin' Halloween Party! As room mom, I was in charge of organizing the party, and I think it was a HUGE success! Daddy came a long and was a huge help, too!

We played lots of games, including:

bat balloon bop - keep the flying bat balloons in the air!

Halloween BINGO!

Pumpkin Bucket Coin Toss,
Pin the Wart on the Witch, and
Wrap your Friend up like a Mummy
The kids had a costume parade throughout the school!

And we made these cute stuffed pumpkins using the left over toilet paper from the mummy-wrap game. (The toilet paper was the stuffing.)

Following the craft, it was time for FOOD! I should have taken a picture of the food table - it was quite the spread and the kiddos thoroughly enjoyed it! Obviously, I've never been a room mom before or even attended a classroom party, but I think this one was a blast! The timing all worked out great and it was just a ton of fun! I really like being room mom, and will do this when you start school for you, too!

Katelee and her teacher, Mrs. Nugent

After school, Katelee got to go to dance class in her costume. She was the cutest dancing crayon I've ever seen. :) The weather was absolutely gorgeous, so we walked home. Well, Katelee scootered home, actually, and she looked really cute scootering along all dressed up as a crayon. We got lots of smiles. :)

In the evening, we invited some of our friends over to have dinner with us and go trick-or-treating together. Lots of friends showed up! We took this picture before everyone came, and then forgot to take another one. :( But at least here are some of our friends that came for dinner.

This is the first year that Katelee REALLY went trick-or-treating for more than a block or two. She's getting older, and I think it helped that we were with a whole mob of friends to go with! But we went trick-0r-treating for almost 2 hours, and she really got a ton of loot! We came home and organized it by color just to see what she had got:

WHOA! Love the expression on her face here!
Good thing almost all of it gets donated to the piano lesson candy bucket. Katelee doesn't mind. :)

Holidays are so much fun, and this Halloween was no exception! I found myself noticing all the adorable babies dressed up this year, and thinking about what your costume could be when you are almost a year old. I can't wait!!

Until then, with love,

Mom

Halloween Rap

2011-10-28T18:55:00.001-07:00

Had to do this again, after how much fun we had last year! This year, Kassandra is starring in our movie, too. :)

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

Click here to see last year's movie.

Preparations for a Baby

2011-10-21T15:05:00.001-07:00

Dear Little One,

We have been spending some time every single day getting ready for your arrival. At times, I get almost giddy, I'm so excited to finally be able to prepare for a new baby! For starters, I am completely reorganizing the house! Yes, I am nesting - I am cleaning out every drawer and closet to make sure the house is perfect for your arrival. We are also beginning to rearrange bedrooms so that we will have the perfect nursery space for you. You are going to share a room with Katelee for now, though I expect you'll spend more time in our room at first. We bought the cutest crib bedding! It is the Pottery Barn Ocean Critter bedding; the colors compliment your sisters bedding, and it's covered with ocean creatures, such as fish, octopus, sea horse, etc. We think it's adorable. I am planning to make some letters that spell out your name to hang above the crib. I've also been making a baby blanket and starting to gather clothes. We got our first baby gift in the mail yesterday, and it made me cry! It was from a wonderful long-time friend, and she sent blankets, onesies, sleepers, and a homemade car seat cover.

It's just all too amazing to be in this situation. Do you know how many baby gifts I've bought for other friends? How many baby showers I've attended? How many times I've secretly wondered if this would EVER happen for our family again? We figure that if we add up all the time in our marriage that we have been wanting/trying/hoping/praying to have a baby (not counting the years when we were so happy to be having your sister), we have been dreaming of this for about seven years. So, it's just so mind-boggling to actually be preparing for you to come; sometimes it's hard for me to believe it's real!

We love you so much and just can hardly wait for you to come, Little One! Amazingly, you might be in our arms next month, and we will be able to actually snuggle you and kiss you. Oh, I just can't wait!

With love,

Mom

Autumn Adventures

2011-10-17T06:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

It's no secret that autumn is mom's very favorite season of the year, and I am so excited that it is officially here! We've been doing some fun 'autumn' things around here lately. For example, your big sister Katelee had her first field trip this week! She got to go to the pumpkin patch, and I (mom) was lucky enough to get to go along as well. We all had a great time!

Here she is, excited to ride the big school bus! She wanted to sit on the very BACK row of the bus. :)Katelee had a great time at the pumpkin patch!

The slides were one of the favorite things to do!

Farmer Katelee

She loved climbing and jumping on the hay bales.

And playing in the little maze.

Ready for a ride on the hay wagon.

Petting the animals. Katelee especially loves this little llama.

Playing in the box of dried corn.

Choosing the perfect pumpkin was so tricky!

At first she thought she wanted this one.

After changing her mind a dozen times, we ended up with this one.

Nice!

Sitting on it to keep it safe. :)

Katelee and her class.

Fun times!

Another sign that it is fall is that we had our Fall Piano Recital. It was held on October 8, and we think it was one of the funnest recitals we have had yet! We had a Halloween/Fall theme; every student played a song related to the theme. The music was great, everyone played their best, and we had a great night. The kids were given the choice to dress up in costume or wear their Sunday best. It was fun to see so many in costumes! A Halloween piano recital just might have to become a tradition ...

Katelee wore her Cinderella dress-up to the recital. (Her real Halloween costume hadn't arrived in the mail yet.) She played the song Costume Party and did a fantastic job. She is really getting good at the piano!

Mom wore a witches' hat, which the students thought was funny. Unfortunately, she only wore it for about the first 10 minutes of the recital because a little Cinderella stole it and wouldn't give it back.

Mom played Bach's Toccata in D Minor. (I LOVE playing that song!)

The night ended with refreshments. Mom made a variety of 'autumn' cookies including pumpkin chocolate chip, spicy molasses, and butterscotch toffee cookies. What a fun night!

Finally, one of mom's favorite things to do in autumn is bottle food. I truly love to do this! Jars of bottled fruit are so beautiful, aren't they? This year has been my biggest years of canning so far.

So far this year on our shelves we have: 12 pints of strawberry jam (plus 7 more that didn't set up. Boo!), 6 pints of peach jam (which my wonderful friend did for me when I was too busy getting out of town!), 28 quarts of peaches, 14 quarts of pears, 8 quarts or applesauce, and plans to make about 12 more quarts of applesauce today and apple pie filling before the week is over.

Autumn always makes us happy, Little One, but this year we can hardly wipe the smiles off our faces . . . because of the possibility that YOU are going to be born this autumn! That would just make this season absolutely perfect. We are planning for you. Mom found you the most adorable baby bedding, we are gathering clothes, and we have planned how we are going to rearrange the furniture to make you a sweet nursery space. Mom is working on a blanket for you, and we even bought Katelee a "Big Sister" shirt (shhhhh....don't tell her, it's a surprise for when you are born). We do live with a small but constant feeling of fear in the back of my mind that things might fall through; we've heard enough stories to know that it happens. But we are moving forward with faith and planning for the best and praying that this baby is YOU - the one meant for our family!

This past Saturday, we were able to spend an hour visiting with J. and A. again. They were picking up a puppy for their friend, so we played with the puppy and talked. We were all in love with the puppy - it made us wish for a yard and a dog! Anyway, we spent a great hour together. The more we get to know J. and A., the more we love them. They are truly wonderful people, and they care so much about their baby. If everything goes as planned, and YOU are that baby, Little One, you can always know for certain that you were loved very, very much - by them, by us, and by so many people. You will grow up blessed to know and have a relationship with J. and A. and know first-hand that they care about you and made the choice for adoption because they loved you so much.

We pray for you constantly, Little One!

Hugs and Kisses,
Dad & Mom

BIG NEWS!

2011-10-08T16:48:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

The past couple of weeks have been eventful, in terms of adoption, Little One. Here is a record of what has been happening.

September 20 - Today Kelly (who is the adoption manager for Colorado) contacted us wondering why we haven't replied to an email from a birthmom! I was surprised, because we never got the email at all. When I told him so, I asked him to give her my direct email address. We haven't heard anything today, but we are excited that someone is interested in communicating with us!

September 21 - Today we got the first email from A. She told us she wanted to meet us, along with her boyfriend, J. Yay! Even if it doesn't work out adoption-wise, we love making new friends. We've made plans to meet next weekend for dinner, because we're going out of town for grandma's birthday party this weekend. We are really looking forward to meeting them, and feeling a little anxious. But, we know that we'll just be ourselves and what is meant to be will be.

September 28 - We've spent this week emailing back and forth with A. and J. It has been so nice to get to know them a little bit this way. They seem really, really cool. We can't wait for tomorrow night!

September 29 - Tonight we went to dinner with A. and J. We had a really great time! I felt nervous for the first minute or two, but quickly felt right at home with them. We talked for almost three hours - and not about adoption at all. Katelee really likes them. We feel that we have a lot in common with them, and could see us being friends with them no matter what they decide for adoption. They are both musical and creative. J. is very artistic, like your daddy. A. loves animals. It was really nice getting to know them and we hope we get to spend more time with them soon.

October 1 & 2 - This weekend was General Conference weekend. It has been absolutely wonderful! We've been spiritually uplifted. One of the questions I had answered during this conference concerns how to act/feel about this whole adoption possibility. I've been really excited, but I've also been a bit hesitant to feel this way and/or tell people what is happening. I've heard a lot of stories about people getting hurt or about adoptions that fall through, and I am afraid. Afraid of that happening to us, and what it would feel like. But as I prayed and listened to conference, I was given the definite answer to embrace this whole experience. I'm going to try to be less quiet about it and tell people what is happening, and admit my hope and excitement! It might not work out. But if it turns out sad, I will embrace it as an experience I needed to have on our journey to find the baby that is meant for our family. So, guess what world? We might be adopting, and I'm THRILLED and in SHOCK about the possibility!!

October 3 - We got a call today from Julie, our case worker. She said that Kelly is going to pull our profile offline for awhile, because J. and A. are very seriously considering us. This is great news! ;)

October 7 - We've waited to hear from A. and J. this week, but haven't had any communication with them. We're sure they've been busy, and we know they have a lot to think about. Still, I'm crazy excited when I come home late from Time Out For Women and see an email in my inbox! I open it up, and this huge peace comes over me as I read these words: "We also have some very exciting news. J. and I have decided we would definitely like you to be the family that our son goes to. We really just liked everything about you guys." I'm amazed at how calm I feel. Absolute peace. Daddy and I can't stop smiling. :)

October 8 - Today I've felt more excitement. I think it's starting to sink in a little bit more. We told Katelee the news this morning, and she acted as if it was Christmas morning! We are all so happy. If everything goes as planned, Little One, you are a BOY! And you are due the end of November.

I'm breathless with excitement and hope!

Love,
Mom

Patience in Waiting and Love from Big Sister

2011-10-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

The other day your sister and I walked into a baby clothing store to browse and dream for a minute. This is a form of self-torture, as baby things are almost too adorable to walk away from. I didn't realize how hard it was on Katelee until she started to cry. "I just want a baby NOW," she sobbed. I felt horrible, so we left and went for a walk in the sunshine while Katelee calmed down. Katelee talks about you all the time, Little One, and anxiously awaits the day when you will be part of our forever family.

Sometimes the waiting seems hard. But then something happens to renew our faith and put everything in perspective.

This past weekend was General Conference weekend, a glorious time when we are blessed to hear from the prophets of our church. As we enjoyed conference, one particular message really hit me. It was given by Elder Robert D. Hales, and was entitled Wait upon the Lord. He spoke of the Savior and His atonement, and of the trials we need to endure during life. He taught this beautiful truth:

"Why such terrible tribulation? To what end? To what purpose? As we ask these questions, we realize the purpose of our life on earth is to grow, develop, and be strengthened through our own experiences. How do we do this? The scriptures give us an answer in one simple phrase: we wait upon the Lord. Tests and trials are given to all of us. These mortal challenges allow us and our Heavenly Father to see whether we will exercise our agency to follow His son. He already knows, and we have the opportunity to learn, that no matter how difficult our circumstance, all these things shall be for our experience and for our good."

This talk really reminded me the eternal perspective, and gave me an extra amount of patience as we put our faith in God that you will come when the time is right.

As we were listening to conference, Katelee was drawing and coloring quietly nearby. She drew a picture of YOU. Here is her masterpiece:She also wrote you a letter:

Dear Baby. To Baby.
I will love you very much and I will take care of you.
Love,
Katelee

We love you, Little One, and keep you in our prayers and thoughts at all times as we wait patiently for the day you'll join our family.

With love,

Mommy

Grandma T.'s 50th Birthday

2011-10-01T16:50:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

Last weekend we were able to travel to Grandma T.'s home to celebrate her 50th birthday! The whole family was there, and we had so much fun! It was a full house, with 9 adults and 4 kids under the same roof, and we had a great time. We like to make a big deal out of birthdays, and we tried to make this one extra special since it was grandma's 50th.

The cousins had a sleepover in grandma's room the first night we were all there. It was mostly play and a little sleep. ;)

The kiddos had a great time together, as always. Here is a picture of all the grandkids in the family so far. I hope you hurry, little one, so we can have more cute kiddos in the family soon! And a few of your fun cousins!

We got to meet baby Trey for the first time. He is ADORABLE! We all loved holding him.

While the grown-ups went to dinner for grandma's birthday, the kids and the babysitter all decorated the house as a surprise for grandma! There were streamers, confetti, 50 balloons, banners, and more! What fun! Grandma was very surprised!
We also surprised her with a yummy cake! (More pics of the cake here.)

And some special gifts.

Great Gandma & Grandpa Klingler came by to celebrate, too.

After dinner, presents, and cake, we had a Wii Dance Dance tournament! Aunt Brittany made a tournament board complete with a winner and loser bracket, and we had a really fun time laughing at each other and dancing. Guess who was the #1 winner ? That's right - ME, your MOM! :) Woo Hoo! Guess I have bragging rights, at least until the next tournament - ha ha!

What a wonderful weekend; we loved being together, celebrating grandma, and having fun. We have an amazing extended family, and we feel so grateful for the blessings of a close family and lots of love and support. Everyone asked about YOU little one and expressed their hope that you will join our family soon. :)

Luvs,

Mom

What We've Been Up To Lately

2011-09-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

As usual, life has been happy and busy lately. Here are a few things we've been up to around here:

CRAZY HAIR DAY!

Katelee and I wanted to do something really awesome for crazy hair day at her school this year! We looked at pictures and planned, and this is what we came up with together.

She LOVED it! So did I - fun times! We did Kassandra's crazy hair, too!
As I walked the girls into the school on crazy hair day, I could tell they felt like superstars! Everyone commented on their hair, and the other kids were so cute and enthusiastic in their comments! The huge smiles on their faces made it all worth while.

FUZZY BEAR VISIT

Katelee had a homework assignment to bring home Fuzzy the Bear for a weekend. She was supposed to do fun things with him and write about it and include pictures. Here is the photo collage that daddy made for Katelee.
And here is the journal entry she wrote. I think her handwriting is so precious at this stage of life!!

DeAR KiNdies,

I took Fuzzy To THe libRARY, the STORe, A RestAuRANt, ANd To eAt ice cReAm.

LOVE,

Katelee

LES MISERABLES

Since I first learned the story of Les Miserables about 15 years ago, it has been one of my life-long dreams to see the musical live. I've read the book twice, and I can sing every word with the CD's. I truly believe this is one of the most true pieces of fiction ever written.

So, when we heard Les Mis was coming to town, daddy was quick to buy tickets. (Such a good husband!)

The performance was wonderful. It's such a touching story, but I was particularly touched for the first time in my life by the ADOPTION story within Les Mis. I don't know why that has never really hit me before, but it is such a beautiful story about the sweetness of adoption. I couldn't stop thinking about it.

CAMPING IN THE MOUNTAINS

Over Labor Day weekend we decided to get in one last camping trip before summer ended. We enjoyed looking at a night sky full of bright stars, singing around the campfire, cooking good food, hiking, playing cards, and just being together out in nature.
We also had some friendly deer come near to say hello.

HOT AIR BALLOON FESTIVAL

This may truly be one of the coolest things we've done in a long time. This is an annual event in Colorado Springs. And it's AMAZING!

This was Katelee's favorite balloon.
It was early, but it was worth it. Absolutely beautiful.

So, life has been fun and busy, but we still find ourselves spending lots of time everyday thinking and talking about YOU. We love you.

Kisses,

Mom

New Family Pictures!

2011-09-09T08:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

We have been working hard lately to update all the photos on our adoption profile at It's About Love. This is a website where people who are thinking about the possibility of adoption can go and see pictures and letters from families who are hoping to adopt - like us! It's been a year and a half since we first put our pictures on our profile, so it's high time to update them. We are almost done, but we needed to get some new professional family pictures taken. So, last weekend, we had a photo shoot.

We think the pictures turned out really fun! What do you think?A few pictures of just mom & dad.Silly daddy!Your big sis - isn't she beautiful?

I am hopeful that maybe by the time we take our next professional family pictures, we might be a family of FOUR! Can't wait to have you part of our family.

xoxox,

Dad & Mom

A Life Full of Children

2011-09-08T08:19:00.001-07:00

Dear Little One,

I've always loved children, and as long as I can remember I've wanted a house full of them. A big family, complete with the bustle and noise and happiness that comes with it.

I have so much fun with your sister; she fills up my life and heart with her energy and happiness and I love her more than I ever knew was possible. But she is growing up and going off to school. I've worried that our home would feel much too silent with her gone. There wasn't any question of what I would do with my time - I have plenty to keep me busy with errands and shopping and housework and lesson plans and cooking . . . The problem was that I was going to be doing these things alone, without any little hands to "help" or any little voices chatting with me. I felt lonely just thinking about it.

It's been amazing, however, to see how Heavenly Father has blessed me. My life has been filled up with children, if not in the way I expected. I teach music classes to little toddlers and preschoolers, and I was able to fill up two different mornings a week with these fun classes. In the afternoons, mostly while your sister naps, I teach piano lessons to dozens of kids. I love my students! Our neighborhood friend, Kassandra, has been coming to our house for an hour or two before school every morning. Katelee adores Kassandra, and I love making breakfast for the 'girls', doing their hair, and creating a pleasant morning for them before we head off to school. Kassandra has even invited us to attend a special school presentation this afternoon - I love that she wants me there! A woman I visit teach injured her shoulder, and she needed someone to help her toddler at a weekly morning gymnastics class. I felt privileged to go along and help this bouncy, smiling little girl who gave me huge hugs after every new accomplishment. I get to volunteer in Katelee's kindergarten classroom once a week, and be the mom in charge of planning class parties. A variety of friends have needed babysitting help, and their children came to play in our home while Katelee was at school. Every Sunday at church, I have the wonderful opportunity to teach music to all the children in our ward (congregation) for an hour or so each week - which is the best church job in the world if you ask me! The list goes on and on and on.

Which just goes to show you, Little One, that Heavenly Father always answers our prayers, if not always in the way we expect it. I pray for you to join our family every day. I know it will happen someday. However, the Lord in His wisdom knows when the time will be best. And while I wait for you to arrive, He is still showering me with His love by sending me heaps of children to fill my home and life in the meantime. On the days I feel particularly lonely for you, I choose to focus on these blessing rather than dwell on what is missing. Never forget this truth: Heavenly Father loves each one of us, and He surrounds us with His blessings and love if we only look for it.

I love you! Hugs and Kisses,

Mom

Kindergarten

2011-09-06T05:47:00.001-07:00

Dear Little One,

Your big sister started her first day of kindergarten a few weeks ago!

Last year we started the fun tradition of a date out with mom to enjoy a meal and choose a new outfit for the first day of school. This is a tradition that I plan to continue every year individually with each of my children. Here we are ready to leave for our date out!

Katelee chose to go to Chick-Fil-A to eat and then we headed over to Target. We found a dress that we both LOVED. Perfect for school.

Mission Accomplished.

The only other thing that Katelee needed was shoes. She has grown out of ALL of her shoes this summer. One Saturday, daddy needed to go downtown to campus for an hour or two and so Katelee and I went along and walked over to the 16th Street Mall. The 16th Street Mall is a huge outdoor mall in downtown Denver. I really love to walk around the 16th Street Mall; it has such an urban feel that I love. There are street musicians and performers, booths selling bags or jewelry, and old men playing chess or checkers along the road. No cars are allowed on 16th Street, but there are free buses traveling up and down the street that you can jump on anywhere. I really love the atmosphere.

There are plenty of things to see, including fountains . . .the hordes of life-sized bulls that are all painted differently...

and the dozens of brightly painted pianos that are set up all along the street. These pianos have signs on them that invite anyone to sit and play. Katelee couldn't resist giving a concert to any lucky passers-by.

And I couldn't resist joining her.

We found the needed shoes, and we had a great time.

It was also high time to get Katelee's hair trimmed before school started. Our usual stylist was taking a break after having a baby, and I decided I wanted to learn how to cut your sisters hair. After all, I always cut daddy's hair. So I got up the courage to trim her hair myself, something I've NEVER attempted before. Aunt Melissa gave me some great over-the-phone instructions that helped me a lot.

So, the snipping began! It went . . . okay. . . :) I meant to only trim the very ends, but in my attempts to make her hair even it got shorter than I intended.

Here's a picture of her new cut - in curls to help hide the flaws! :)So, now our preparations for the first day of school were complete, and there was nothing left to do but wait!

And Katelee could hardly wait!!

Katelee has been very excited about staring kindergarten this year! On a Wednesday we went to her school for a little orientation. I've been telling her that school would start in the fall, and she was excited to show me a yellow leaf she saw outside - proof to her that it was time to start school!See the yellow leaf?

Oh, this girl makes me smile. ;)

We got to go see her classroom, meet her teacher (again), drop off supplies, fill out paperwork, etc. Katelee loved it and couldn't WAIT for her first official day of school which was the very next day. We went home and painted her fingernails pretty for her first day. At bedtime, Katelee was so excited she had a hard time falling asleep - you would have thought it was Christmas Eve!

Katelee woke up extra early on her first day of kindergarten. She couldn't wait for school to begin. She looked very grown-up and absolutely adorable.

Katelee & Daddy
Katelee's First Day of Kindergarten!

Katelee & Mommy

Katelee's First Day of Kindergarten!

At school!

Katelee says she LOVED her first day of school. She enjoyed swinging at recess, her teacher read a story, she met some new friends (though she couldn't remember anyone's name:), and when asked what she learned she replied, "That I don't have any homework yet!" She came home with homework the next day, however. Don't worry - she was excited to have homework. Hopefully that lasts a long time!

After school was over, we picked her up for a first day of school celebration! We went to McDonald's to celebrate.

What a big day! We love to make life a big celebration in our family. Katelee is really enjoying school. There were a few rough days as she adjusted to the schedule, and Katelee and I both missed each other so much. But now she knows I get to pick her up before lunch and she is really enjoying all the exciting and wonderful things she gets to do at school! I don't know if I'll be able to handle next year, though, when she goes all day! I really hope you are here by then, Little One, to help me adjust to that transition! It's true, now that your big sis is in school, I find I miss you even more (if that's possible). I pray every day that you will come soon. I love you!!

Mom

Take Me Out to the Ball Game! And FSA Parade!

2011-08-24T19:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

We recently had a couple fun events that I need to blog about. First of all, last Friday night we went with friends from church to a Colorado Rockies game. On the way there, I taught Katelee the song, "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" which she continues to sing everyday in the cutest way. It is my favorite song she sings right now. We had a lot of fun at the game, even though it rained on us, and the Rockies sadly lost. We rode the train downtown and enjoyed watching the game and being with friends. We are looking forward to going to another game soon!

Then, last Saturday, we joined our Families Supporting Adoption friends to march in a local parade. FSA joins in the parade each year in an effort to spread the good news of adoption. :) Here are some of us, getting lined up for the parade.

We enjoyed decorating Katelee's bike for the event. ;)

Tossing candy to the kids watching the parade was the best part of the experience.

Except maybe the fact that we were lined up right behind the clowns. Katelee LOVED that, and enjoyed going up to talk to the clowns whenever we had downtime. :)
After the parade, we all met at a nearby park for a picnic lunch and had a good time visiting. I really needed these few hours to focus on adoption and help show others how wonderful a thing it is. This is why I love FSA; it is such an emotional support to me as I try to stay patient while we wait for you to join our family. As we sat and talked, I got to see some families who have been blessed by adoption and see their beautiful children, hear other people's stories, offer mutual support to other couples who are waiting to adopt, and just overall form stronger friendships. FSA is definitely a blessing in our lives.

Love ya!

Mom

Camping at Wellington Lake

2011-08-12T10:13:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

We went camping last weekend at a mountain lake, and had a fabulous time. We really love to camp. It was a beautiful place, and we spent a wonderful weekend enjoying the beauty of nature and having some much-needed relaxing fun time together. We cooked in our dutch oven and over the campfire, and ate plenty of s'mores.

We took a nearby hike to see a waterfall.

We enjoyed the beautiful scenery, wildflowers, and many butterflies. Can you spot the butterflies in the next two pictures?

It really was a gorgeous place. The moon looked HUGE as it rose over that mountain.

Can you see the double rainbows in this picture? Doesn't it look like a place right out of a fairy tale?Katelee collected lots of treasures, including this awesome "K" stick!

We camped right on the lake, and enjoyed lots of time playing in the water. Katelee practically lived in her swimming suit and loved to splash around in the lake and catch guppies.

She 'rescued' this ladybug from the lake. Her name is "Orangey."

Overall, we just thoroughly enjoyed relaxing and spending time with one another. There were lots of large boulders to climb, and we pretended we were exploring Mars and riding dinosaurs. We searched for fairy homes and played card games. We giggled late into the night in our tent as we played games with the flashlights.

It was a great weekend of time together, and I didn't want to leave. In fact, we are already planning our next trip to Wellington Lake. We'll definitely take you there sometime to play in the lake, climb boulders, cook hot dogs, and have fun. That's a promise.

Love,

Dad & Mom

50 Things We've Done This Summer

2011-07-27T14:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

As promised, we want to tell you all about the fun summer we've had! We are a "going" type of family - we are usually on the go and we don't do too much sitting around. We love to be out, enjoying life, and giving Katelee all types of experiences.

We know it's still July, but your big sis starts school in only two short weeks, and we've already started to shift into back-to-school mode. We still have some fun summer plans, such as camping next weekend, but we've already done so many fun things that we need to record. So, here is our monster list of:

50 THINGS WE'VE DONE THIS SUMMER!

1. SWIMMING

Lots and lots of swimming! We've made a point to spend several mornings a week enjoying our pool!

2. BIKES

Katelee has really enjoyed her bike this summer, and we've tried to spend a lot of time practicing her biking skills. :)

3. KASSANDRA

We have had the great pleasure of having a sweet friend, Kassandra, spend every Wednesday & Friday with us throughout this summer. Katelee has LOVED having Kassandra over, and we have had tons of fun having her around!

4. THE LIBRARY

We visit the library very regularly once a week, and really enjoy spending an hour or two there! Sometimes we attend story hour, and a trip to the library isn't complete without a little computer time for Katelee and some time spent rocking on the banana chairs. Kassandra loves to sit and read Katelee books while I check out our piles of new items.

5. LIBRARY SUMMER READING PROGRAM

To complete the summer reading program this year, Katelee had to read or be read to for 12 hours. She finished a couple of weeks ago and received her reward: a new library bag and passes to two museums in the area, which we will be using soon!

6. MCDONALD'S WITH FRIENDS

We've met friends two times this summer for a fun playdate at McDonald's - this is one of Katelee's favorite things to do! The last time we went with our friends the Brockbands, to say good-bye, as they were moving the next day.

7. GRANDPA & GRANDMA R.

We enjoyed a really fun visit from Grandpa and Grandma R. who stayed at our house for a week. We LOVED having them!

8. STARTED A NEW BLOG

I started a new recipe blog with my mom and sisters; I love cooking and trying new recipes, and it has been lots of fun to share recipes with my family that way!

9. STORYBOOK DANCE CAMP

Katelee participated in a week-long storybook dance camp, which was absolutely magical! She loved every minute of it!

Katelee and Miss Julie

One of their dance camp performances:

10. PIZZA-MAKING PARTY WITH FRIENDS

We had some friends over for a fun pizza-making party - YUM!

11. FSA PLAYGROUP AT THE SPLASH PARK

We had a great time with our FSA friends at this splash park - complete with a waterfight. Katelee and Kassandra versus me. I got *very* wet!

12. UNCLE GEOFF & AUNT BONNIE

We've hung out several times with Uncle Geoff & Aunt Bonnie this summer! We love them. Katelee loves playing with Uncle Geoff - they have a good time dancing and being silly together.

13. COOKIE BAKING

We baked some cookies to take some to friends. We ended up taking three hours to deliver all the cookies - we were having so much fun visiting with friends!

14. BUILDING WITH LEGOS

Katelee was especially proud of this huge lego staircase we built one night for our FHE activity.

15. BALLET IN THE PARK

Our city does so many cool things in the summertime. One night we watched a professional ballet company perform in our favorite local park.

Katelee loved copying the ballerina's moves.

16. WORKING HARD

Daddy has spent a lot of his summer working hard at school! This is his last week of this semester and then he'll only have 2 semesters left! Hooray! He's had a great opportunity this summer to work directly with architects in Aspen, CO on a project. He's enjoyed it a lot. And he says Aspen is a gorgeous place to visit!

17. HAIRCUT

I cut 9 inches off my hair to donate for cancer patients.

Love my new haircut!

18. TRAIN RIDE TO THE TOP OF PIKES PEAK

Grandma T. came out and visited us for a week. We had so much fun with her here!!! We took a cog train ride to the top of Pikes Peak, a mountaintop nearby that is over 14000 feet tall while Grandma T. was with us. It was breathtaking and TONS of fun!

On the train:

At the summit:

19. GETTING WET

One of our favorite parks has a great playground, as well as a splash pad and small stream. Katelee loves to go wading there!

20. CHURCH PANCAKE BREAKFAST

We enjoyed a yummy pancake breakfast the morning of the 4th with our church friends. Daddy was in charge of organizing the event, and he did a great job. Here he is cooking up some delicious eggs!

21. 4TH OF JULY PARADE!

Grandma T. was in town the week of the 4th of July! We did so many fun things with her, including celebrating a full and fabulous 4th!

22. WATCHING FIREWORKS

23. THE BOTANICAL GARDENS AT CHATSFIELD

This is more like a farm than botanical gardens, but we enjoyed visiting here and seeing the beautiful grounds.

Grandma T. and Mom

24. PICNICS

We've enjoyed several picnics together this summer!

25. SILLY LUNCHES

We like to get a little creative with our lunches sometimes!

26. CARS 2

We loved seeing the movie Cars 2 as a family this summer - we thought the movie was great! It had been a long day, however, and Katelee got sleepy at the very end. :)

27. JUNIE B. JONES

We've discovered the Junie B. Jones books this summer, and have almost read the entire series. We love 'em!

28. HIKING

We went on a fun summer hike one day while Grandma T was here.

We saw this friendly deer.

29. PEDICURES

We've enjoyed giving ourselves some cute toenails this summer!

30. HARRY POTTER

Your mommy is a HUGE Harry Potter fan! I've spent some time this summer rereading some of the books.

Dad and mom also watched all the movies again, in order, which was so fun to do together. Mom went and saw the final movie in theaters with some friends - dad is waiting until he reads the books, so the ending won't be spoiled. Hooray for Harry Potter! When you and your sister get older, we'll share these with you, too!

31. SHOPPING AT THE MALL WITH GRANDMA

While Grandma T. was here, we did a little shopping at some of the nearby malls. Grandma bought Katelee this pink feather boa! I bought her some new goggles. When we got home, she decided to have a little photo shoot. :)

32. TAKING NAPS

Katelee has taken naps each day this summer - we've been so busy she has really needed them! One day we skipped the nap - and this is where I found her at dinnertime - halfway under her bed, sound asleep! Ha ha ha!

33. PARK PLAY DATES

We had lots of play dates with friends at local parks, and been to a dozen different parks this summer! We love going to the park!

34. DANCE IN THE PARK

We enjoyed a live band in the park one night, and Katelee & Daddy had a great time dancing!

35. CAKE DECORATING

I made mini cakes for Katelee and Kassandra to decorate one day. Each girl chose a friend to give their cakes to. The girls had a blast decorating their cakes.

36. HAIRSTYLING

Katelee and I have continued having some fun with hairstyles this summer. Here are a few of our recent faves:

princess dance camp hair

4th of July star hair

pretty church ribbon hair

37. SWIMMING LESSONS

Katelee took her 2nd year of swimming lessons this past month. She was the smallest one in the class, but she did her best to keep up! She did a great job, and we are proud of her.

Katelee and her sweet teacher, Tiffany.

38. PLAYING PRETEND

Katelee loves to play pretend. This particular day, she created this throne so she could be the "Queen of Australia!"

(Putting on her crown.)

39. NEW COUSINS

We've had two new baby cousin born in our family this summer, one on each side of the family! (See! If you come soon, you will have a cousin your age on both sides of the family!!!) While we haven't had the chance to meet one of these cousins, yet we have had fun spending time with the sweet cousin that lives nearby!

To say I'm baby hungry would be a huge understatement,

especially with these new sweethearts in our family!

40. ICE CREAM CONES

Gotta love a good ice cream cone in the summertime!

41. CRAFTING

We like to do crafts. Amongst the many things Katelee has created this summer is this beautiful jewelry:

and this stained glass window decorations.

42. FROSTING CUPCAKES

And eating some, too!

43. FANCY NANCY PARTY

Recently we signed up to attend a Fancy Nancy party at our awesome library.

We had a good time getting Katelee all 'fancified' for the party.

Creating her crown.

And her tissue paper flower.

Then each girl chose a dainty cookie and cup of water to enjoy while listening to Fancy Nancy stories.

They also sang fancy songs with actions.

And then the girls had a 'fashion parade' - throughout the entire library! I thought the librarians were very brave (and maybe a little crazy) but the girls LOVED it!

On parade...

What a fancy and fun party!

44. PIANO LESSONS

I've continued to teach piano lessons throughout the summertime. We have done some really fun summer program activities - I really do love being a teacher! :)

45. UNCLE TYLER & AUNT TAYLOR

Uncle Tyler & Aunt Taylor stopped for a visit on their way to OK for a summer job. We had a great time hanging out with them!

46. BLANKET MAKING

Because of the new babies in our family, Mom's spent some time this summer making baby blankets. I've crocheted one soft blanket in bright, summery colors for one baby cousin, and pieced together a sweet flannel quilt for the other. I can't wait to make some sweet, soft, cozy blankets for YOU, Little One!

47. BOARD GAMES

We love to play games. When Grandma T. was here, we played Carcassone like three times and had so much fun! We've also played Life as a family a couple times this summer (Katelee really likes that one!) and we've had friends over a couple of times for game nights. Games are great!

48. RAIN

It has rained for an hour or two almost every single afternoon this summer! We haven't minded, and once or twice, on a nice hot day, we've even gone outside to play in the rain! :) This particular day started with Katelee standing in the rain with an umbrella and ended up with both of us splashing in the deepest puddles and dancing in the downpour! We were soaked, but we had so much fun!

49. THE WILDLIFE EXPERIENCE

We visited a museum nearby called The Wildlife Experience. It was very hands on, and we all had a great time looking at all the exhibits!

Don't eat me, Hippo!
Katelee showing us how she can roar like a lion.

Digging for fossils.

50. DREAMED OF YOU!

It's true, Little One. Admidst all the adventures and fun we've had this summer, we have spent most of our time dreaming - of you! We dream about future summers with you by our sides, and wonder if you'll love to swing so high you touch the sky with your toes, if you'll be a little fish in the pool like your sister, what your favorite games and foods and activities will be... We already love you so much and can't wait to spend future summers with YOU in our family!

'Til then, with love,

Dad, Mom & Katelee

Parents In a Day

2011-07-24T09:58:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful video that touched my heart today.

Thinking of You

2011-07-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

I know I haven't written to you for a few weeks. This is partly because life has been crazy with summertime fun - visits from grandparents, swimming lessons, dance camps and other adventures have kept us happy and busy! Don't worry, I have about a million pictures and stories that I will share in one monster-huge post soon!

But just because I haven't written daily/weekly doesn't mean you haven't been on my mind. In fact, you've been on my mind more than ever lately. I have so many thoughts and feelings that I haven't really been sure how to write them all down.

Saturday your daddy took me on a date to a local bookstore. We had a really fun time browsing books, discussing ideas, sharing a yummy peach smoothie and just talking. (I really love your dad!) At one point we wandered into the children's book section, where we discovered a shelf of adoption books. We had fun reading through them. One of the books was called "God Found Us You" by Lisa Tawn Bergren, and I found it so touching that I couldn't wait to read it to you. We bought it on the spot and brought it home. We read it to Katelee and she loves it too.

The book is a conversation between an adopted baby fox and a mommy fox. One part of the books goes like this:

"And then I came?"

"Oh, no. No matter how much I prayed it would happen, I still had to wait."

"You waited and waited and waited?"

"And waited. But I knew that someday you'd arrive, when God would find us you."

Lately, I've been thinking about the waiting we are doing, and praying that we are learning the things we need to in the meantime. It seems like the timing would be so good right now for you to join our family. For example, your daddy is almost done with grad school. At that time, we may (or may not) move, depending on where he finds a job. If we move out of the state, we have to start the adoption approval process again, so we are really hopeful that you'll come to our family before that happens. Also, your sis is starting kindergarten in three weeks. I would love to have someone to keep me company at home while she is gone. ;) But, ultimately we trust in our Heavenly Father and His timing. And we'll wait as long as it takes.

Another part of the book says:

"Did you ever want to give up?" Little Fox asked.

"Sometimes," Mama said, rubbing Little Fox's cheek with her. "But I trusted that God knew you, and knew me, and when we'd fit perfectly together."

We had a small brush with an adoption opportunity lately. It made me feel more hopeful. The opportunity didn't work out, and we were disappointed, but also we know that it is okay. Because we firmly believe that there is one YOU out there that is meant for our family, and that our Heavenly Father knows when the time is right. I think that we will fit perfectly together, as well. We don't want just any baby, we want YOU - the one meant for us. You have things to teach us, and we have things to teach you. And we can't wait to meet you.

One particular part of the book brought tears to my eyes. It is the part of the book where the little fox is asking about the mother who gave birth to him.

"I think she prayed like crazy that you would be safe, Little Fox. I think she prayed for me as much as I prayed for her." Mama's voice got all whispery. "And God answered both our prayers."

I do pray for the woman who will one day give you life, Little One. Which is why I can't read this without tears coming to my eyes. I love her. She must be very, very unselfish and love you very, very much.

Oh, you are very much in my thoughts, these days, my precious Little One. In the meantime, we are waiting. And waiting. And we'll keep on waiting until God finds us you.

With love,

Mom

Summertime

2011-06-23T12:30:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

We are having such a great summer! We spend many days at the pool or park. I love being a mom so much. Your big sis keeps me laughing all the time! Here are just a few little things that she has done lately.

_____

This is how one of our conversations went yesterday.

Mom: Katelee, could you come here?

Katelee: I can't mom! I'm practicing!

M: Practicing what?

K: I'm busy practicing, Mom!

At this point I walked into the other room to find this:

Katelee: (In a completely dead-serious voice.) Mom, I'm practicing standing like a flamingo. I'm busy right now.

And then she went back to her diligent practice.

_____

We love music in our house. Katelee sings all the time. I love this about her. She sings at home, she sings in the car, she sings (VERY LOUDLY) throughout her long showers, she sings on the toilet, she sings . . . well, just about everywhere.

Recently we were at the library. Katelee needed to use the bathroom. I watched her go into the children's room and lock the private bathroom door behind her. She knew I was going to be looking at movies in the adult section of the library - a spot quite a distance from the children's room bathroom, but still within sight of the bathroom door. Within minutes of her going into the restroom, I heard singing. LOUD singing. Happy, lovely, cheerful little-girl-singing. Coming from the bathroom. People around me (remember - I was standing in the adult section of the library!) began to grin and glance around. Finally I had to go tap on the door and remind her this was the library! She joined me soon afterwards. She was bouncing around and doing a wiggly little dance. "I think my underwear are on wrong!" she announced loudly to anyone within 10 yards. The man browsing the movies next to me couldn't hold it any longer and started to laugh aloud - leaving the aisle to try to hide his laughter.

_____

Here are some pictures of Katelee rolling down the hill at the park the other day. She was really dizzy by the time she got to the bottom! Ha ha ha! Gotta love it!

And some pics of us playing at the fountains with friends!

Nothing is better in the summertime than a picnic lunch!

Life is good. Being a parent is one of the best things in life.

xoxox,

Mom

I'm So Glad When Daddy Comes Home!

2011-06-20T11:52:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

Yesterday was Father's Day. Father's Day was made extra special this year by the fact that dad was out of town for 2 weeks and made it home just in time for Father's Day! We missed him so much and are so glad to have him home with us again! We had a great day together, eating daddy's favorite foods, giving him gifts, and altogether trying to make him feel special. :)

Katelee just adores daddy.

He is pretty wonderful.

Gerald & Katelee, Father's Day 2011

Last night for Family Home Evening, we read from President Benson's classic talk: To the Fathers in Israel. Towards the end of the talk, President Benson gives a list to fathers of 10 ways to give spiritual leadership. We read through it as a family and I felt so blessed to realize that your dad already does all of these things. He is such a great husband and father. He is a true family man, who always puts his family first and works hard to take care of us and help us be happy.

I took these pictures in March of Katelee walking in daddy's shoes. She wants to be just like her daddy, and I would be proud to have her follow in his footsteps. I will be proud to have you follow his example someday, too.

It's such a blessing to have a good father. I have a great father, and it has made a profound difference in my life. I am so happy to know that my children also have an amazing father - a person they can always look up to and respect and love and admire.

With love,

Mom

FSA Playgroup at Belleview Park

2011-06-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

Catching Up!

2011-06-01T20:49:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

The last couple of weeks have been quite busy with end-of-school-year activities and the beginning of summertime! This is such a fun (and busy!) time of year!

First of all, Katelee performed in her first ever dance recital. She loved it!

Our little dancer, ready to go to the recital!

Katelee and her sweet teacher, Miss Muffie. Miss Muffie really is amazing! Katelee loves her and can't wait to see her again in the fall.

The class did six dances for us.

This was the 'costume' for the swan dance.

Ta Da!

Singing in the Rain was my favorite dance!

Katelee prefers tap dance to ballet, though she loves both. I think it's that she loves the sound of the shoes. So do I.

Miss Muffie gave each girl an "I Heart Dance" visor and a real lollipop. Katelee was thrilled!

Here are a couple of the sweet dances they performed:

The Swan Dance

Singing in the Rain

Lollipop Dance

Also, Katelee finished preschool last week, complete with a darling program. My baby is growing up! I look forward to having another preschooler again someday!

Katelee is in the blue and green dress.

The program was great! They sang songs and did dances. I cried during You are my Sunshine when their teacher announced that this song was for the moms. It was adorable. They all put on sunglasses to sing it. :)

Then they had the 'crossing over the bridge.' Ms. Judy said a few words about each student, had them answer a question, and they walked across a little bridge to represent they were moving on in the world.

Ms. Judy said that Katelee was definitely ready for kindergarten, that she was 'very accomplished,' and that they should 'put her on staff,' because she could probably teach the kindergarten class. Then she asked Katelee what she wanted to be when she grew up. Katelee said, "A firefighter!" Later she told me, "I was going to say a ballet dancer, but then I changed my mind!" :)

After the program we enjoyed refreshments in the foyer. Yum!

I did it!

I decided to make Katelee's first day of summer break a BIG CELEBRATION! We were lucky enough to have Kassandra with us. We are going to be having Kassandra over a couple of days a week throughout the summer, which is nice because Katelee loves her! ;)

We started the day by attending Katelee's preschool program. Then, we went to the library to sign up for their awesome summer reading program and get new books and movies. We all love the library! After lunch we went to Pump It Up. The girls had a BLAST jumping and running and bouncing and sliding everywhere for a couple of hours. It made me exhausted just watching them. :)

Tired out!

Later that night, after daddy was home, we all attended a play at the library, where they were performing "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe." It was really fun to watch, and I liked seeing Katelee giggle and stare and enjoy the production. We ended our day of celebration with a little frozen yogurt from Red Mango and went to bed. Hooray for Summer!!

When we were first married, daddy and I set a goal to take at least one family vacation a year that that was more than going to visit family. Our parents were excellent at family vacations, and those memories of family trips are some of my most precious. We wanted to create similar memories for our kids and make spending time together a priority.

We didn't have a long time for traveling, but we decided it was time for a family vacation. So we decided to spend a couple of days and nights in Colorado Springs. No, it's not very far from home, but the truth is we haven't taken the time to explore there very well. And it's a great place! In fact, we'd like to go again soon. :)

Colorado Springs has a great zoo! The Cheyenne Mountain Zoo was our first stop on our family vacation, and may have been our favorite overall place we visited. This zoo may not be the largest zoo ever, but it is definitely the most "hands-on" zoo I've ever been too.

The giraffe's are so much fun to visit! As you can see, you are right up next to them and can pet and feed them.

Pretty sure this picture above was taken right after the giraffe licked Katelee's hair!

Feeding the giraffe some lettuce - yummy!

Katelee loves carousels - isn't that smile priceless?!

Katelee wanted to switch. :)

What a fun zoo and what a fun way to start our vacation!

After visiting the zoo on Friday, we decided to explore a nearby park called Seven Falls. Colorado has some beautiful country, and this was no exception. One of the first things we saw when we entered the falls area was an elevator going up to a look-out deck. These stairs were next to the elevator. The sign says "185 Steps to the Eagles Nest." Katelee really wanted to take the stairs, and feeling adventurous and energetic I agreed. Dad took the elevator. :)

From the top we could see the whole waterfall...

... as well as the LONG flight of stairs to climb up along the waterfall. Unfortunately, there was no elevator over there. :) Shoulda taken the elevator while I could! Ha ha!

The sign said, "Congratulations You Made It! Only 185 steps to the bottom."

Katelee loved feeding the trout along the river at the bottom of the falls. They would really jump for the food!

We also enjoyed some Native American dancing and music at the bottom of the falls. Katelee was mesmerized and loved watching them dance.

When they announced that children who wanted to could join them on stage for a special dance, Katelee was the first one up there!

Finally we decided to tackle the 224 stairs to the top of the falls.

The view from the halfway point landing.

It was at about this point that I remembered that I am deathly afraid of heights! Yikes! I started up the second half but started feeling shaky. So I decided to wait at the half-way up landing while Dad and Katelee went to the top. I hope you don't inherit my fear of heights. :)

Dad and Katelee coming back down. I was chanting "be careful, be careful, be careful," their whole way down.

Katelee picked some special dandelions for me while up on top. So sweet!

The rest of Friday evening was spent swimming at the hotel - Katelee's very favorite part! ;) We had a very, very fun day and slept well that night, looking forward to another day of fun on Saturday.

Saturday morning we slept in, enjoyed a nice breakfast, and headed out for another day of fun. We decided to take Katelee miniature golfing. She loved it and has already been asking when we can do again!

Dad showing Katelee how to hold the golf club. Once she got the hang of it she was surprisingly good - better than me! (That's not saying much!)

Yes! I did it!

Hole in one!!!!

Yes, Katelee DID get a hole in one! Here she is beside her golf ball holding up 'one' finger!

Daddy also got a hole in one before the game was over, at the windmill.

(Though does it count as a hole in one if you tried three times to get a hole in one???? I don't think so . . . ) Ha ha ha!

Quick story: Sunday night after returning home for our trip, we were having family home evening. Katelee was in charge of the activity. She brought out blankets and colored on paper to create her own 'mini golf' hole. Dad pulled out his putter and a ball, and we played 'at-home' miniature golf. What a creative girl!

After golfing, we headed out to see the Garden of the Gods.

The Garden of the Gods really is beautiful.

I love the red rocks.

One of the park rangers gave us a little tour. Katelee befriended his dog, Winnie. They became inseparable for the rest of our time there. ;)

It was a beautiful day - perfect weather!

My little hiker

The sky was SO BLUE that day, I couldn't stop commenting on it. It was really gorgeous against the red rocks and with the deep green of the mountain trees. The colors all complimented each other nicely and made them seem even more vivid.

Can you find Katelee?

After we were done at the Garden of the Gods, we enjoyed some dinner and returned to the hotel for more SWIMMING! What a nice little family get-away! We can't wait to do it again sometime soon!

In other news, Katelee and I have discovered a fun new hobby. Lately, we've been having so much fun looking for fun new hairstyles to try and doing them on Katelee. She LOVES when I do her hair. I love getting to spend a special few minutes with her each day, and I love her huge smile when she sees the finished result - in some ways she is such a girly girl. ;) We are on a quest to do her hair in a different way every day for 30 days! Here are some of our favorites so far:

As you can tell, Little One, life continues to be exciting and interesting and fun and good. We love you. We think about you always and wonder about you. We pray for you. You are already so loved, and we look forward to the day when you will join us in all our family adventures!

With love,

Mom

Life With Katelee

2011-05-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

Life with your future big sister is always an adventure.

One evening recently I began making dinner only to have Katelee start begging to go to a restaurant. She begged and cried and threw an uncommonly big fit about wanting to go to a restaurant. We were not going to a restaurant. We were having spaghetti at home. So I invited her to visit Jennifer's Restaurant. At first, she wasn't very willing to go along with my game, but she warmed up to the idea eventually. Katelee asked daddy to be her date at the kitchen table. I took their orders and brought the drinks. Then daddy slipped into the kitchen to help the cook while Katelee decorated the menus. I really wanted to show you Katelee's decorated menu - it's so cute - but it didn't scan very well. If you can see this, there is a picture of noodles and cup of juice and utensils, and then Katelee has written "The noodles at Jennifer's Restaurant." In the end, we had a delicious (and cheap!) dinner at Jennifer's Restaurant, and all agreed we'd like to do it again soon. :)

Also, Monday was a momentous day for Katelee! A big, BIG day! It's the day that she finally got the hang of pumping herself on the swing! HOORAY! This day has been several months coming, as we've worked and worked at helping her get the rhythm. At the park on Monday, though, it finally clicked! We were both SO excited! I did a little happy dance and cheer!

In other news, today was parents' day at Katelee's preschool. Both daddy and I were able to go, and we had a fabulous time! We listened to a story and some songs. Then the kids took us to the 'centers' to play with them. We dissolved some capsules into sea creatures; made an ocean scene out of crushed vanilla wafers, blue jello, and shark fruit snacks; played in the 'housekeeping' corner, watched Katelee practice her name, and more. It really was a ton of fun and made me want to go to preschool every day! The very end was show-and-tell time, and it happened to be Katelee's turn for show-and-tell. We were so proud to watch her tell everyone about her favorite blanky and puppy (the items she chose to bring today) and show them off to everyone.

Katelee knows how to keep us laughing out loud! Here are a few funny things she has said lately:

I told her I was french braiding her hair. When the braid was all done, she asked, "How does my Mexican braid look?" Ha ha ha!
Daddy woke up one morning with a sore back. "Dad, you need to get a Sleep Number bed," was Katelee's matter-of-fact response. We cracked up! Too much TV, perhaps?
Pulling up her eyebrows in the middle, "Do I look EVIL?" This one is particularly funny when looking at her sweet, innocent little face! ;)
"Do you know Heavenly Father's phone number?" Yes, I do. It's called prayer. :)
"How did Heavenly Father create our bodies without spilling all the blood?"
While driving past the big glass windows at a local restaurant, Katelee shouted, "MOM! My vision is SO GOOD that I can see through that wall!!"
"Can you remember all those things that are in my brains?"
"I want more tickling and kiss-l-ing!"
We were serving a German chocolate cake. Katelee didn't want any of the coconut frosting, so she said, "I don't want the German, just the chocolate."
As we were leaving a church bookstore, "Mom, I really like that statue of Jesus and Mr. God."
Me: Katelee, did you just BITE me?? Katelee: "No, mom! I was just chewing on you!"
"I can feel Jesus in my heart. Mom, I think Jesus is hungry."

I am so grateful to be a mommy! Life is always an adventure and so much fun with little ones around, and I can't wait to experience the many adventures you'll bring to our lives someday, too.

With love,

Mom

S.P.O.I.L.E.D.

2011-05-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

Today is Mother's Day, and I have been spoiled rotten. It's been a wonderful day, a day that has left me so grateful to be a mother. I love being Katelee's mommy. I'm the one she comes to when her Barbie's need a new hairstyle, when she has an ouchie, or when she has a burning question. And I love that. Being a mother is definitely the best job in the world, and I am so, so blessed to be a mother. I look forward to being your mommy someday, too.

The day started out with Katelee playing quietly and letting me and daddy sleep late. We enjoyed breakfast together, and Katelee gave me her mother's day gift - a card, a new book (I love to read!) and some chocolates. Daddy and Katelee also cleaned out the car yesterday, and they cleaned off our patio and beautified it with flowers and a new screen. It was a beautiful day outside, and we spent lots of time out there enjoying the sunshine and warm weather.

We attended church, of course, which was wonderful. After church, Katelee and Daddy made dinner: grilled steak, mashed potatoes, rolls and green salad - YUM! I felt very spoiled! We ate outside on the patio and enjoyed laughing and talking together. Katelee was so funny today, and has had us laughing since we woke up! We were all cracking up over dinner as she entertained us with her silly version of "Baby Bumblebee."

We also called our mother's and enjoyed talking to each of them. The day ended with daddy doing the dishes while I enjoyed reading one of my favorite books (Freckle Juice) aloud to Katelee and cuddling with her while she fell asleep.

What a beautiful day it has been. I feel spoiled rotten. And more committed than ever to being the best mom I can possibly be for Katelee. And for you.

Kisses,

Mom

P.S. Here is a short video of Katelee singing the Bumble Bee song. :)

Happy Mother's Day

2011-05-08T21:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

This is Dad here. Today is Mother's Day! I can't wait for you to meet your mother. She is a very amazing woman. Let me tell you some of the things that I love most about her.

Your mom is very good at everything she does; nothing she sets out to do is done half-way or mediocre.
Your mom is very stalwart and true to the gospel and is a remarkable example of always striving to do what's right.
Your mom is very compassionate towards others.
Your mom is unselfish and is willing to make personal sacrifices to help others.
Your mom is polite and kind to everyone; I don't think there's any person in the world who has met her who doesn't like her. She's a very likable person.
Your mom is very talented in music (playing the piano and singing) and baking (I can't wait for her to make you birthday cakes).
Your mom is an excellent teacher.
Your mom loves spending time playing with and teaching your older sister, Katelee. I'm sure she will love doing the same with you.
Your mom is very beautiful. I love her smile and her eyes.
Your mom is very caring and nurturing. She takes very good care of me and Katelee.
Your mom is very loving and accepting of everyone.
Your mom is fun to be with. She always has really good ideas. She really knows how to make things that aren't normally fun to be fun.
Your mom is also funny. She makes me laugh.
Your mom, in short, always tries to live a Christ-like life.
Your mom is the best mom any child could ask for.

When I met your mom more than 11 years ago, I was attracted to her immediately. We were in college and she lived on the other side of the block where I lived. I began hanging out at her apartment with her roommates and Jennifer and I became good friends. As I got to know more about her, I fell in love with her. After several months of spending time with her, I came to know that she was the one that I would spend eternity with. I've never looked back on our decision to get married. Little One, some day you'll meet your mother and I'm pretty sure you'll love her a lot. I know that she'll love you a whole lot, as will I. You'll be lucky to have such an amazing mom. Happy Mother's Day, Jennifer!

Love,

Dad

Open Adoption Sunday

2011-05-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

I was introduced to Larissa and Jeff through Larissa's mom, who happens to be one of my best friends. Since then, I've faithfully followed their family blog. I've loved reading about life with their adoptive son, Beck, and about the process of adopting their beautiful daughter, Hazel. Without even knowing it, they have helped shape my ideas and feelings about adoption in wonderful ways. I am so excited that Larissa took the time to be a guest blogger and share her experiences with adoption. In her usual generous way, she has offered to answer any further questions about adoption that anyone might have for her. If you'd like to contact her, please send an email to praying4adoption@gmail.com and I'll forward it on to her. Thank you again, Larissa!

_________________________

When my husband Jeff and I were dating my little sister got pregnant and decided to place her baby for adoption. Jeff had a sister who had gone through the same experience, so we talked a lot about adoption and how positive it was for all of the people involved. The fact that both of us have sisters who are birth moms really helped shape our attitudes about adoption and about birth moms.

In 2007 Jeff and I adopted our son Beck. His birth mom Tiffany contacted us early in her pregnancy so we experienced much of it along with her. During that time we became very attached to her. She asked us if we were willing to have an “open” adoption and after we met her in person and had gotten to know her and her family, we felt very comfortable with it. After Beck was born we called and emailed fairly regularly and we invited Tiffany, who lives in a different state than us, to visit when Beck had his first birthday. Last year we adopted a second child, our sweet daughter Hazel. We had a similar experience with her birth mom Holly and also have an open relationship with her.

We have had a wonderful experience with our birth moms and people often ask me if I recommend open adoption. I can definitely say that not everyone is meant to manage that situation, but for us these have been fantastic relationships. Some adoptive mothers can feel threatened by a birth mom’s connection to her child. But I know what it means to be a mother, and I know I’m my kids’ mom. Through adoption we chose to be a family, and every day after that we’ve worked to care for each other and love each other. And the bond that we’ve created is stronger than genetics. Having our birth moms in our life doesn’t change my relationship with my kids, it just helps my kids to know that the decisions that were made were all out of love. Tiffany and Holly mean the world to me. They made the most difficult sacrifice a woman can make, and they did it even though it would hurt them tremendously. Abortion is sadly very common and accepted these days, and it would have been easy for them to make that choice and save themselves the physical pain and the social judgement that comes with being a pregnant teen. But they didn’t. And the only reason they could go through with it was because they loved Beck and Hazel more than they loved themselves. It is one of the most Christ-like acts a human could make. They gave Jeff and I the greatest gifts, and they gave Beck and Hazel a life they never could have provided.

I was with Holly when Hazel was born, and it’s hard to put into words just how special that moment was between us. I watched Holly go through both physical and emotional pain to bring my baby Hazel into the world. After the birth we both looked at each other and cried, knowing that we were connected by our love for this sweet baby girl.

It’s important to know that, like all relationships, open birth parent relationships need to have boundaries, clear expectations, and good communication. So if you’re considering an open adoption you should talk with your case worker to figure out the level of “open-ness” that will be okay for you and the birth parents. Our birth moms live several states away, which creates a natural boundary, but we are still careful to make sure that these relationships are positive for everyone, especially the kids. We’re aware that the needs of our kids will be different at different times of their lives, so I’m sure we’ll adjust as we go.

A friend of mine, who is an adoptive mom, once had someone say to her “I don’t know how you can share your kids with someone else.” I feel like that is a very short-sided attitude. President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “Let us look to our children with love. They are our Father's children, and ours is a custodial relationship to them for their lives." We don’t own our children. They are a gift and a stewardship we have. My husband and I strongly believe that the more people who love and care about our children, the more confident and secure they will be.

I love Beck and Hazel and I love the women who made a choice for them and brought them to me!

Spring Piano Recital

2011-05-07T21:01:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

I am a music teacher. Mostly, I teach piano lessons. I love my job. I love having my home filled with music. I love being a teacher, and making a positive difference in the lives of children. And I love doing something that can bless my family while I stay at home with Katelee.

Katelee loves my piano lessons, too. She loves getting to know all the students and becoming friends with them. She loves participating in the group lessons - at the age of 5 she knows more about music than I knew at the age of 10, simply because she is surrounded by it so much. She loves playing the piano. I've never pushed her at all, but she sits down to practice and play daily, without me ever saying a word to her.

Tonight was our spring piano recital. It was lovely! It's so rewarding to see the students perform and having their hard work pay off. Katelee loves performing. Tonight was a special recital for her. She received an award for being in 5 piano recitals now. She also played a song that used both hands at the same time - a first for her! She did a fabulous job, and I am very proud of her. I also take the opportunity to perform at each piano recital; it keeps me practicing and learning new things, which is good for me. :)

Katelee, performing her song: Rockets and Sea Divers

I performed Clair de Lune, a new favorite song for me.

The cupcake collage I made for the recital.

With Love,

Mom

Open Adoption Sunday

2011-05-01T10:30:00.000-07:00

We are so thrilled to have Jessa Speight as a guest blogger today! We were privileged to meet Jessa at the FSA Conference in April and hear her presentation. Jessa placed a sweet baby girl for adoption in August 2008. Since then, she has started a blog titled Birthmothers for Adoption that is a huge influence in advocating adoption and supporting birthmothers. Jessa also started a scholarship foundation for birthmothers. If you are interested in donating to this fabulous cause, they are always looking for donations to scholarships4birthmothers.blogspot.com. To donate, you can email Jessa at birthmothers4adoption@gmail.com or send a payment to paypal at jessalynn.speight@gmail.com (but in the subject it HAS to say Scholarships 4 Birthmothers). Thank you, Jessa!

________________

I met my birthfather in basic training, I thought I was in love...or maybe I was just smitten with the fact that he claimed to be in love with me...I still haven't decided. Anyway, I got home at the end of October, found out I was pregnant a couple days before I was to leave to college.

My biggest fear was telling my parents. I could think of nothing worse then seeing my parents faces when I gave them the biggest let down of their life. To look into their eyes and tell them that seemed impossible. After they had been told they didn't react too bad. They were dissapointed but mostly sad. After we had talked for a while, they told me to call my college and make sure I could still live in student housing. Luckily, I was still able to.

I moved in and because of some differences I moved to a different set of housing, then my life changed.... I walked into the apartment and I met this girl. Her name was Alyson. Now at first I wasn't a big fan of her, little did I know she would be the source of relief and overbounding joy, she would help me get through one of the hardest things of my life. After several days of 24/7 throwing up I figured I should probably divulge the information that I was with child. I told them and to my surprise they weren't totally rude to me, instead they opened up their arms to me. One day after having gone to LDS family services I had a pile of adoptive couple profiles. I was looking through them on the floor. I had a yes, no, maybe pile. I had certain things I really wanted. ( I am not going to share those because I fear that adoptive couples will feel they need to have those. This is not true. Every birthmother has different wants and needs.) Anyways...Alyson came in from class and asked what they were, I explained they were potential adoptive parents of my baby. Aly responded non chalantly and walked into her room. Minutes later she came back out and told me of her aunt in uncle who lived in another state. I told her to have them call me or send me their profile. Well her aunt called me on the phone. She sounded nice on the phone at first impression then I found more out about her and her family. They were involved in a lot of the activities I had hoped and dreamed that my baby would be able to be involved in as well. She had two other biological boys. Big brothers is something I had always wanted. Then she sent me their profile. I looked at that profile for hours. Scoping everything out. I cried, I smiled, I pondered.

One day, I just realized, This baby belongs to them. I had my caseworker set up a face to face so I could tell them. They thought I just wanted to meet them. I put together a basket with Alyson and had it all ready for them when they came down. I was very excited, nervous, and scared. I probably tried on like 7 outfits...Aly kept saying, " You look fine" My biggest fear was that they would think I was some stupid teenager who went out and got knocked up. When they walked into that room I felt calm instantly. Then when their boys walked in I KNEW I had made the right choice. They are the two sweetest most well mannered boys i have ever met. I handed them my basket with the sonogram and some baby stuff. They just looked at it. They didn't really say anything. I started to freak out then. No response I was worried they were going to say no. After the meeting we went to Ice Cream. We talked and I enjoyed getting to know them. Overall I was pretty quiet. I went home and I just cried that night. I can't think of anyway to describe it. You feel relief because you know you found the parents and yet you feel an overwhelming grief because it becomes real. I have never wept like I did then.

On August 20, 2008 Josie Jeanne was born. She had a hard time getting here, but she made it. I regret it with all my might but I didn't even hold her right after she was born. I was just so exhausted. But on the other hand I think it was a good thing. She was able to have that bonding moment with her parents. The next two days went by so fast. Then I had to place that beautiful baby girl into their arms at placement. It was the hardest moment of my life. I didn't ever think in a million years I could feel hurt like that. But I did. I placed her in their arms and I walked out. That night I went to my parents house and didn't sleep at all. I was in shock. I kept putting my hand on my stomach. I was missing my baby girl. I wept, I looked at pictures. I missed her so so much. I cried for probably three months straight. Then in November I had the chance to see her for the first time since placement. When I held that baby girl again, the sadness started to heal, when I saw her with her family and how well she fit in, the sadness was even more alleviated. I knew she fit. She belonged to them!

I went home feeling worlds better. Skipping ahead. When I was getting ready to go to her sealing my friend who had planned on going with me skipped out. So I invited the guy who I had only been dating for a week (I know crazy! Yes, we are still together! lol ) and my birthmother friend and of course Aly. We went and I had some time with Josie before both the blessing and the sealing. When they came out of the temple they looked so beautiful. They looked so happy. It tore me up and made me happy all at the same time. But it was then I knew with no doubt in my mind I made the right choice.

Josie's adoptive parents are the most amazing people I have ever met and I am so thankful for them. I am thankful for their two sons. I am thankful for Aly. Most of all I am thankful for God.

2 and a half years later I still miss Josie every once in a while and I still think about her everyday. But it gets better everyday. I cannot ever regret my decision because she is with who she belongs to. I know that when she grows up she will know who I am and how I feel about her. She will know she is loved by a ridiculous amount of people. She is a beautiful girl and is growing to be more beautiful everyday. I love my Josie!

FSA Playgroup

2011-04-29T23:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

A couple of weeks ago we had another fun Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) playdate. It was at one of our favorite parks, and we had a great time! It was a very pretty morning, and I was able to snap some pics of Katelee having fun with her "adoption friends."

Katelee LOVED this swingy toy. She spend most of her time playing on it.

And the long windy slide.

I can't express what a blessing in our lives it has been to be a part of FSA and get to know these amazing people. They are becoming dear friends, and I am so grateful for FSA. We hope to be involved with them throughout our lives, so you will also someday benefit from this amazing group, too.

Love,

Mom

Weekly Family Night

2011-04-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

One of our favorite family traditions is our weekly family night. We (mommy and daddy) have had regular family nights since the time we were first married - almost 10 years now! On a designated evening each week, we gather together for some quality, fun family time! We have a board that helps us keep our family nights organized, with 6 'categories.' The categories are:

Prayer (we start each family night with a family prayer)
Song
Scripture
Lesson (we teach each other lessons about the gospel)
Activity (this includes the fun time!)
Treat

We take turns being in charge of each of these categories. As Katelee is growing up, she is getting involved more and more in the planning of family night, which we love! Katelee is thrilled for any assignment she is given, and her enthusiasm makes family night even more fun!

Katelee gets especially excited when she is in charge of the lesson. She wants to do it all on her own - no help or input whatsoever from mom or dad! Usually, she bases her lessons off recent primary lessons that she remembers, which we think is great. She does a great job.

Awhile ago, it was Katelee's turn to teach the lesson.

"I am teaching about PROPHETS!" she proudly exclaimed.

Then she dragged the white board from her bedroom into the family room, found a blue marker, and began to teach.

"This," she stated, drawing a tall man, "is the prophet."

Then she drew a tree of life, an iron rod, and a "cloud where people can get lost" (the mist of darkness). She taught us all about Lehi and his vision, and together we related the iron rod to the word of prophets. It was a great lesson, and I am so impressed with Katelee and the many, many things she teaches me.

Katelee and her prophet illustration.

Another time, it was Katelee's turn to choose our activity. Activities are so much fun to be in charge of, and usually include inventing silly games to play together. This particular week, the activity she chose was to set up her princess tent and eat our family night treat inside. Mom was in charge of the treat, and she made muddy buddies, one of Katelee's favorites!

I couldn't resist a picture of my two cuties enjoying muddy buddies in the tent. :)

Yum!

Family Night really is a special time; it's a time that bonds us closer as a family and helps us have the spirit in our home. It's a time to have fun, enjoy treats, and become better friends. We are really grateful for family night.

Remember that family night board I was telling you about? We have some empty name tags that are waiting for your name! Someday, your name will be up there on that board, too, and we hope you will love family night a much as we do.

xoxox,

Dad & Mom

Open Adoption Sunday

2011-04-24T21:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't forgotten my promise to have a guest post about open adoption each Sunday!

Unfortunately, my friend who was scheduled to post today hasn't sent me her post. It's completely my fault for not realizing that I started this new tradition the week before Easter Sunday. I'm sure that she has had a busy week enjoying Easter activities with her young family!

Don't worry - I have the next few weeks lined up with fabulous people who will share their amazing stories with you. So please continue to tune in for their thoughts and feelings about open adoption.

In the meantime, I'd like to share a sweet YouTube video about open adoption. If you search "Open Adoption" on YouTube, you'll come up with a long list of amazing videos you can view. I've watched many of them. I don't know the family who put together this movie, but it particularly touched my heart. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did!

If you have had an experience with open adoption, or know someone else who has, and are willing to share your experience on our blog, please contact us at praying4adoption@gmail.com. THANK YOU!

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T20:58:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

This week has been a busy and fun-filled week of Easter activities!

The festivities began Wednesday night when we invited some friends over to dye Easter eggs with us. Katelee had a great time trying out the different colors...

...and decorating the dyed eggs with stickers.

Don't they look pretty?

We also discovered something new this year - Katelee LOVES hard boiled eggs. She's probably eaten 10 of them since we dyed them Wednesday night. Dad likes them too, but I'm not really a fan. I wonder how you'll feel about eating hard boiled eggs someday!

The Easter bunny visits our house on the Saturday before Easter every year. He makes it interesting by showing up at a different time of day each year. Saturday morning, Katelee put out a plate of carrots for the Easter bunny. She checked on the plate throughout the day so she would know when the Easter bunny had come. ;)

Saturday morning was also our 2nd annual Easter Egg Hunt! We love doing this and plan to make it an annual event! We invite all our friends and neighbors to join us. Everyone donates treat-filled eggs toward the hunt; we had a lot of eggs this year! We estimated probably around 800?? Anyway, we filled a couple of laundry baskets - that's a lot of candy!

Our little family goes out bright and early Saturday morning to place and hide all the eggs and get everything ready for the hunt. Katelee was a huge helper this year! She has been SO EXCITED all week for the Easter egg hunt! She enjoyed hiding eggs with us, especially in the trees.

We had time before the hunt began to take a few pictures. How many eggs can you find in this picture? I think there are 8...

It was a chilly morning, and Katelee was getting cold by the time we took this picture.

Finally, everyone else arrived and the hunt began! It's hard to take good pictures of kids on a Easter egg hunt - they move too fast! But dad managed to get a few decent shots of Katelee!

Katelee was so proud of the fact that she got 16 eggs! Yay!

Later that afternoon, Katelee burst into our room shouting that the Easter bunny had eaten his carrots!!! We went on the search for her Easter basket. I think the Easter bunny hid it under the desk the past two years, but apparently he started thinking more creatively this year. We found a clue he had left, made from the empty plastic eggs Katelee had in her basket left over from the hunt in the morning.

The clue pointed to Katelee's pink chair.

Behind her chair, Katelee found this!

The first words out of her mouth were: "HE BROUGHT ME THE DUCKY I WANTED! HE BROUGHT ME THE DUCKY I WANTED!"

Recently, while at the store together, Katelee laid eyes on this duck. It was love at first sight. I would not buy it for her, of course, and she felt so sad. Well, Katelee kept repeating this story and saying, "I guess the Easter bunny knew I saw the ducky and he knew that I wanted him so SO SOOOO bad!!" Yup, I guess the Easter bunny just knew. :) Katelee and her ducky have been together every second since she found him.

Katelee also got some new shoes, bubbles and a kite, and we went outside to use all of them Saturday afternoon.

Saturday night, Katelee had sweet dreams cuddled up with her ducky, which she has named Cutie Pie. Update: the ducky's name has been changed to Bubbles. :)

We try to make Easter morning very special. The Easter bunny and egg hunts are over, but we make a special breakfast, listen to beautiful music, and get new church clothes. Then we have an Easter devotional. Today we watched the movie Finding Faith in Christ and read the accounts in the scriptures of Easter morning. We also took a few photos before church.

Katelee loved her new Easter dress.

After church, it was home for a lovely Easter dinner of ham, cheesy potatoes, veggies, and rolls, with cheesecake for dessert. After dinner, we decided to play some games as a family. We began inventing Easter Egg games. We had relay races while balancing plastic eggs on spoons,

played egg toss, took turns hiding Easter eggs and racing to find them, played hot and cold with Easter eggs, and played Easter egg golf.

Daddy got his Easter egg golf ball in the hole first...

followed by Katelee, at a close second. ;)

Overall, it was a wonderful Easter weekend.

We are so grateful for our Savior Jesus Christ, for his life, his death, and his resurrection. We love Easter, and the opportunity this gives us to remember and celebrate Jesus Christ. Easter is about hope. We are hopeful that you will be part of our family soon.

With love,

Your Family

P.S. Just for fun, here are some cute pictures of your sister from past Easters.

Open Adoption

2011-04-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

A couple of years ago, back when we first began to think about adoption, the words "open adoption" made us feel a bit nervous. Recently, we were talking together about how different our feelings about open adoption are now. Our hearts have been completely changed, and we are actually praying for an open adoption.

Why the change? Well, honestly we think an open adoption is what is best for you. We think this change of heart comes from meeting so many, many amazing people through this adoption process and hearing their stories. And now we view having an open adoption as the ideal. In fact, we really hope to have an open adoption with your birth parents.

What is an open adoption? Well, open adoption means different things to different people and the definition of an open adoption is as varied as the different situations and individuals they involve. So, this is how we view an open adoption.

We will always tell you that you were adopted. I mean, we are writing this book of letters to give to you when you join our family, and we plan to read it to you often.
We will tell you about your birth parents and about how special and loving they are.
We will communicate regularly with your birth parents, sending them emails, letters and pictures as you grow up.
We will make an effort to give you opportunities as you grow up to know and spend time with your birth parents. We want you to know that they loved you and they chose adoption for you because of that love. We can't promise any details, because some of that decision is up to your birth parents and other factors, such as how near we live to one another. But we can promise that we'll do our best to communicate with them and to give you the experiences that are best and healthiest for you. Because ultimately, that is what it is all about . . . your well being.

We don't know what the future will bring, and if an open adoption is what we'll get, but we are hopeful that we'll get that opportunity. We imagine an open adoption will be an amazing blessing to our whole family.

But, we realize that not everyone has had the opportunities we have to have their hearts opened and changed about open adoption. That is why, little one, we've decided to have some 'guest posts' on our little adoption blog. We've asked some friends and acquaintances to share their experiences with open adoption. We hope their stories touch the hearts of anyone who is reading this blog, just as they touched ours.

Love ya,

Dad & Mom

P.S. To anyone out there interested, we hope to post an 'open adoption' experience every Sunday. Please check our blog to read these personal stories. Also, if you know of anyone who has an experience with open adoption, and they would be willing to share their experience on our blog, please ask them to contact us at www.praying4adoption@gmail.com. Thank you!

Sunny Sunday Pictures

Dancing Queen

2011-04-13T13:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

Last week your big sis started dancing lessons. She has an adorable teacher, with the adorable name of Miss Muffie. At dance class, Katelee is learning ballet and tap. Katelee LOVES dance class. She is so excited to go, and both weeks she has grinned the entire hour long. At home, she loves to practice, especially with her tap shoes on the tile near the front door; she loves the way it sounds.

Ballerina Katelee

At Miss Muffie's dance studio, every student gets to trace and color their hand on the wall. Katelee's colorful hand is right behind her head, slightly to the left in this picture.

Daddy is a great dancer. Have I told you that? He clogged for many years while growing up and is really talented. Katelee and Daddy were having fun tons of fun practicing some tap steps together, and I couldn't resist a picture.

And a sweet movie of them practicing together. I love my dancers!

I'm finding that one of the most rewarding things about being a parent is watching your children find hobbies they love and develop talents. I really enjoy watching Katelee grow and learn new things. Lately she has really been excited about playing the piano; she's improving by leaps and bounds. And now she is also really passionate about dance. It's so fun to watch. I love being a mom! And I know it will be exciting when you begin exploring and finding what you love to do, too. I wonder what you'll love to do the most - soccer? art? ice skating? basketball? dance? music? Whatever you choose, I'm looking forward to helping you discover it.

With love,

Mom

FSA Regional Conference

2011-04-10T21:16:00.000-07:00

Dear Little One,

Yesterday was the Colorado Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) Regional Conference. It was a really great day. We attended classes and panels taught by birth mothers, individuals who have been adopted, and parents of adopted children. We laughed, we cried, and we learned a lot. We met some wonderful new friends and enjoyed seeing old friends once again. But most of all we came away filled with appreciation for the blessing that is adoption, grateful for the trials of infertility that have led us down this adoption path, and filled with hope that you will come into our lives when the time is right.

I try to be positive as I write these letters to you, because someday you'll actually be here, and you'll really be reading these words. And I really do have faith. But the truth is, some days are hard. Some days I don't want to wait any longer for you to come. Some days I feel angry or sad or just impatient.

But then we have an experience, like we did yesterday, that reminds us that everything is going to be okay. Better than that - everything is going to be amazing. If we just wait. And remember.

One of the presenters that I listened to yesterday shared a beautiful essay. The essay was written to express what life is like raising a child with a disability, but it can also apply to what life feels like when you are trying to build a family through adoption. It really touched my heart. The title of the essay is "Welcome to Holland" and it was written by Emily Perl Kingsley.

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

You are loved, little one. Already. I think of you every day.

Kisses,

Mom

P.S. I also made a cake for the FSA Conference yesterday. Here's a picture: